Single Mother Dating Advice – There’s Still Hope

Posted by SingleMomsScholarships on August 26, 2010 0 comments

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Single Mother Dating Advice – There’s Still Hope

Families and Living Arrangements stated that there were 12.9 million single parent families in 2006; 10.4 million single mother families and 2.5 million single father families. According to stats, the up rise of single mothers continues with no signs of slowing down. That leaves a single mother to play more than just the role that she was created to play. Not only is she a single mother, but she’s also a single father as well.

Having to play two roles is a big responsibility, many single mothers spend most of their time working long hours in order to support their child, which in many cases, children. Their lives no longer belong to them because it is now sacrificed on behalf of the well-being of their children. They sacrifice so much of their time trying to fill the voids in the lives of their children, that their own personal voids aren’t addressed. Some may find it hard considering the “luggage” they now carry, and may not know how to get back into the dating scene.

Single mothers tend to hold back when it comes to dating. One reason is because they think that having a child is enough to scare every man away. They lose the confidence and the hope they once had, which in turn, outs the fire that once lit up their presence. Even when they do meet someone, it takes a while for the topic about having kids to come up. They’re afraid that it might put a dent on their progress.

To all of my single mothers, how can you expect someone to embrace you when you have yet to embrace yourselves? The real problem isn’t about the men not wanting a single mother. The real problem is a single mother not seeing why a single man would be interested in her. See, a man will only value a woman as much as she values herself. If a woman, although a single mother, presents herself as a woman of value, then a man will acknowledge her as just that, despite of what comes with the territory.

Women worry so much about the way men think of them that they forget what a real man represents. I’ll help you out with that. The following paints that picture:

A real man respects a woman no matter what, and never says or does anything that would degrade her in any way.
A real man admires a single mother and treats her with dignity, realizing that only a strong woman could take on such a challenging task without defeat.
A real man doesn’t leave a good woman just because she’s a single mother, but instead, embraces the situation knowing that for a good woman, he’ll take all the responsibilities that may come along with her.
A real man doesn’t allow a child to come between him and his feelings for a woman. He doesn’t only accept her, but he also accepts her child. He doesn’t only see the both of them, but instead, all of them, as a family.

That’s what a real man does! And if a single mom wants to be accepted by a real man, then she has no reason to fear being alone because a real man takes her as she is.

Giovanni Azael is a dating specialist who writes dating advice for men and women. You can find more single mother dating advice at www.giosdatingadvice.com.

On December 23rd Chicago Bulls forward Tyrus Thomas presened the Lateefah family (a single mother of six) with the gift of a home makeover and much more. MOUTHPIECESPORTS personality Meghan Brennan catches up with Thomas to check out the redecorated living room and dining room that it is equipped with all the essentials needed to bring comfort and warmth to a home.
Video Rating: 4 / 5


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Q&A: Future “Stay at Home Mom” needs advice on ideas for working at home…?

Posted by SingleMomsScholarships on August 23, 2010 4 comments

Question by Melissa: Future “Stay at Home Mom” needs advice on ideas for working at home…?
I am planning on staying at home with my next child. But am in need of ideas or suggestions for jobs that I can do from home. I am an interior designer and could possibly do that from home…but would like some ideas of jobs that are more computer related and could be done at anytime, day or night…

Best answer:

Answer by fairbetsy
Day care is a good idea.

Add your own answer in the comments!

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Advice for Dating a Single Mom

Posted by SingleMomsScholarships on July 2, 2010 0 comments

Advice for Dating a Single Mom

 

What Do We Mean By “Dating?”

What do we mean when we say the word “dating”? You first meet someone, maybe through a glance at a party and some casual flirting. We all have experienced that introduction where you think, “Yikes, she’s hot!” Then maybe you take her to dinner and a movie, and perhaps some dancing. If things work out, you have the first kiss, and then: the first “overnight.”

Things may progress, and you have a first weekend trip together. Then, as you get to know her a little more, you learn her idiosyncrasies. You become more comfortable, less cautious, more willing to share your feelings, yourself, and maybe you even learn new things about yourself. You could develop a routine with the person, and particularly discover the kinds of things about which you are going to have to compromise. That is dating.

The Difference Between Dating a Single Mom and a Non-mom

Understanding the difference between a single mom and a single non-mom is key. A mom cannot be as carefree, flexible, free-spending, spontaneous or risk-taking as a non-mom. While you may find a single mom at the most hip, happening nightclub in your greater metropolitan area, dressed to kill in thigh-high black leather boots and a mini-skirt the size of a postage stamp, that’s only because she spent the previous 48 hours making arrangements that enabled her to leave the Planet of Motherhood.

With all of that in mind, check out a few specific tips on how to treat that hot single mom in a way that will have her begging for more:

Making It Work With a Single Mom

 

Be understanding about where she’s coming from. For most single moms, dating and sex after having kids is stressful. The needs of her children define her boundaries. Understand that she is juggling roles, tasks and emotions that are different from those of a non-mom.

A mom needs to be available to her kids. This often means lack of “alone time,” little-to-no parental relief and balancing the demands of family, career, economics and dating. Understanding all of this is the first step to success in dating a single mom.

Be understanding of her need for flexibility. Understand that spontaneity and motherhood do not always mix. A single mother is not necessarily carefree and may not be able to make spur-of-the-moment plans. Surprise outings may seem romantic and fun, but are difficult for most single moms to manage. Just when she thinks plans are set, there are many reasons why she may need to cancel, change plans or reschedule.

For example, she may need to help her kid with homework or any number of extracurricular activities (i.e. a talent show, a science project, dance class or baseball practice) and she may not know about them until the last minute. Be flexible and ready for an extreme change of pace when necessary.

Be understanding about how expensive it is to be a single mom. A single mom may not have a lot of money and often has a budget to which she needs to stick. One of the biggest expenses a single mom with a young child has is babysitting. Keep this in mind when planning dates or extending invitations. While your hot momma may want to see you often, she may only be able to pay for a babysitter once a week.

 

With this in mind, consider that one way to see her more often is to offer to pay for the occasional babysitter.

As an alternative, consider planning activities or outings that may not require a babysitter. For example, if your hot momma shares custody with an ex-husband or other family members, coordinate a date on the weekends when her kids are away.

On the other hand, if you have already met them, plan an at-home movie night or an outing with age-appropriate kids’ activities that everyone can enjoy. Although this will take more coordinating on her part, she’ll appreciate it and you’ll score some major points.

Be understanding about the boundaries of your involvement with the kids. If your single mom of choice does not want you to meet her kids immediately, be patient. Don’t take it personally or assume that she does not like you enough to introduce you to her kids. She may want to get to know you and give you the opportunity to get to know her as an individual and a woman before you meet her kids and see her “mom role.” In addition, she may not want the kids to meet every man she goes out with and wants to wait to see how your relationship develops.

Follow her lead about dos and don’ts in front of the kids. Accept her boundaries about how much affection to express in front of the kids, and at what pace. Talk with her about the comfort level of all involved and proceed with caution. And let her do all of the disciplining. If you have an issue with the kids’ behavior, discuss it with her when the kids are not around. As a rule, do not try to be a father or a father figure to her kids, particularly in the beginning. They may end up resenting you.

Be open to her need to include the kids.

After you’ve been dating for a while and you both feel there could be a long-term relationship in the works, be open to her bringing the kids on some of your outings. If the kids come along, then be playful, light and fun. Do not take it personally if her kids act as if they dislike you, decline to participate in any activities with you or express jealousy. Just hang tight. They will likely see what she sees in you, and come around eventually.

Do not get in between her and her ex. Dealing with her kids’ dad can be tricky. Let her handle all the communication/miscommunication and/or primary interaction with him. Listen when she wants to talk about him, but do not ask probing questions. The break-up may have been a difficult one and it may be difficult for her to talk about it. Hostility or bad-mouthing will not win you any points. Extend common courtesies whenever possible, but know your boundaries.


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Posted by SingleMomsScholarships on June 15, 2010 7 comments

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Written by real working moms, ’42 Rules for Working Moms’ is a compilation of funny practical advice on how to survive as a ‘working mom’. These real life experiences are fun, personal and sure to be appreciated by working moms everywhere. Gone are the sugar-coated nicey-nice images you just can’t relate to. In 42 Rules of Working Moms, you get real insights into what matters, what works, what doesn’t, and why.

Laura Lowell brought together a diverse group of working moms: different cultures, industries, ages, relationships and perspectives. The contributors possess years of experience balancing their personal and professional lives. They come together to share their hard-earned lessons with other working moms.

42 Rules for Working Moms is for any Mom who struggles with how to switch gears, or who wants to learn:

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www.practicalhappiness.com Avoid this common mistake that many single mothers do when they try to meet guys online and in the real world.


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