Question by Rain: Have we made being a “single mom” too easy?
Have we as a culture made being a “single mom” look too easy?
What made me ask this question is I am hearing young girls planning their futures, and saying “Oh, if my boyfriend doesn’t want to be with me and I get pregnant, I’ll just be a single mom. People do it all the time.”
I am a mother of a wonderful 9-month-old. I couldn’t ask for a better child. My husband and I have been married for 10 years, and I am so grateful every day that we have each other because taking care of a baby 24/7, day in and day out is HARD! We are both tired all the time. We are both having to give up a lot of what we used to enjoy and a lot of our own personal freedoms to be there for our child.
I can’t begin to imagine trying to do all that needs to be done for myself and my child on my own.
Yet we have these young girls thinking that they can have a baby and have a life, too, and it is all going to come easily and naturally. I think a lot of this is coming from the television and media, who seem to gloss over single motherhood and make it look easy.
Am I wrong?
Best answer:
Answer by JVR
People need to understand everyones situation is DIFFERENT. Some people have money and support from family, others don’t. Thats why its easier for some single mothers than others.
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
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No you are not wrong!
)
Being a single parent is not easy at all. I left my sons father while I was pregnant due to abuse.
I lived in a woman’s refuge for 2 years, my son was born here 12 weeks premature. Stayed in hospital for 9 weeks, had surgery at 3 month old.
He was diagnosed with autism last year.
I have been doing this alone (my family lives in another country) and let me tell you its not easy but I would also not change it to the world.
I came to the point when I enjoy being single, I find that side of my life much calmer (no man, less problems
Thats why single mums are very strong people, because they have to be! They don’t have a doting husband to help with the children or the housework. Every situation is different, not all marriages or relationships work out and some men are just deadbeat dads, the world isn’t perfect and people aren’t either.
Some single mothers work as much as possible, run a home and take care of their children whilst trying to find time for themselves, others are full time mothers and need the help from the government because they can’t help the situation they are in, others rely on family. I don’t think any single mums life is easy and I don’t think we can judge anyone either. It’s alright for you because you have a loving husband at home to help you…Single mums can and do a good job, and they are right to think they can do it because they can! Why not? Nobody said it was easy but anything worth having isn’t!
Being a single mother is really hard. I’m a single mom of a two year old boy. I’m 31. I work my tail off to make sure my son’s needs are taken care of before anything else happens.
But instead of people looking at me and seeing that I work my tail off – they judge me because I’m a single mom and think I must be mooching off the state and getting all this welfare and everything and the tax payers are paying for me and my son to live…… Which couldn’t be further from the truth. I work full time, I pay for everything for my son. The welfare system is out there for people who desperately need help – and my son and I do not fall into that category.
I’m just tired of being judge. I don’t want praise from people, I just don’t want to be looked at in a negative light. I’m just doing what I have to do.
No you are not wrong, you are very much right! I am a 22 year old single mother to a 22 month old daughter and let me tell you it is FAR from easy!! Her father left me 2 days after we found out I was pregnant and he hasn’t looked back since. I LOVE being a mother and I wouldn’t trade it for the world, but it is not easy at all. I have given up alot for my daughter. I dropped out of college so I could work full time and have insurance for her and myself. I don’t and have not ever received ANY help from her father or the state! The state claims I make too much money to receive help. I guess I have to be completely broke and sitting at home doing nothing to get help. If it wasn’t for my family’s help & support I don’t know where me and my daughter would be. I look back at the kid’s that are in high school now and it’s like every other girl is pregnant. When I was in high school having a baby was the last thing on my mind, there is NO way in heck I would have been able to take care of my child properly then without my parents paying everything for us. It truly breaks my heart seeing these young girls thinking that becoming a mom is easy and fun all the time. It’s not EASY and it’s not fun ALL the time. I just wish the kids would think before they act.